A closer look at what keeps a man from evolving.

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Well, that week flew by.

I can’t stop laughing at the Two and a Half Men therapy clips. The therapist is priceless.
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Charlie Harper—charming, fun, carefree—but also a guy who dodges responsibility and never faces his deeper issues.

It got me thinking: why do men get stuck? Old patterns. Old habits. Old wounds. And often, we don’t even notice.

I recorded a short audio rant on the subject.

Research note:​
Avoiding emotions is tied to mental health struggles (PMC). Adherence to traditional masculinity norms—like emotional stoicism, self-reliance, and toughness—can make men less likely to seek help and more prone to stress and isolation (PMC). Growing up without strong male role models increases the risk of risk-taking, addiction, and delayed maturity (Cornell). Addictions—from alcohol to screens—freeze growth at the age the pain started.

3 Thoughts

1. Father wounds stick.​
   Absent, critical, or emotionally distant dads teach us that feelings are dangerous. That shapes how we see ourselves—and others.
2. Addiction freezes the clock.​
   Numbing pain with alcohol, work, or screens doesn’t just distract—it stops growth. A guy who started drinking at 17 may still react like he’s 17 at 37.
3. Avoidance keeps us boys.​
   Without facing the wound, you never build the emotional muscles for partnership, fatherhood, or leadership. Comfort zones become cages.

2 Quotes

1 Question

If you froze at the age your deepest pain began, how old would you be now—and what would that younger self need from the man you are today?

I would love to hear from you — do you have a question I can answer in under 5-min related to today’s topic? If your question is selected I will answer it (informally) and post it in the next newsletter.

Cheers,

— Dr. John

Ready to Get Unstuck?

If part of you feels stuck—still reacting, still avoiding—you don’t have to live on repeat. Even one conversation can help you see where you froze—and show you how to move forward.

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