Navigating a Clash of Values in Modern Institutions.
I am going to wade into the muck a little with today's topic because so many of my recent sessions have uncovered a specific kind of exhaustion: culture war fatigue.
Whether it’s at the office or in your personal relationships, there is a growing sense of friction that is hard to name but impossible to ignore.
My perspective is informed by my own professional path in medicine and counselling psychology. I've had a front-row seat to how these shifting institutional rules create friction in highly regulated environments.
My clients come from all walks of life and hold a wide range of viewpoints, which are all welcome. Regardless of where clients sit on current affairs, most seem to be members of the "exhausted middle" and are feeling drained by their algorithm and a world that seems to have suddenly changed its rules.
I recently read an article, "From Worriers to Warriors: The Cultural Rise of Women" by Cory Jane Clark. I thought some of you might find the data interesting.
The culture war and all its aspects are far too complex to tackle in one weekly newsletter, but here is a short summary of the article and what a behavioral scientist feels happened to our modern institutions broadly.
The Three Core Conflicts Reshaping Your World
Clark’s research suggests that as women have moved into the majority within influential places like universities and media, the "operating system" of these institutions has shifted from a traditional male-oriented style to a more female-oriented one. This shift often creates three specific points of tension:
• Equity over Merit: We’re seeing a move away from the traditional "winner-takes-all" meritocracy. While men often focus on competing to see who is the most competent, women tend to prioritize fairness and making sure outcomes are more equal for everyone.
• Safety over Tough Truths: There is a much higher priority being placed on "harm avoidance." In the past, the goal was often to find the truth no matter how uncomfortable it was. Now, there is a stronger push to protect people from distress, leading to things like safe spaces or the suppression of "offensive" ideas.
• The "Cancel" over the "Fix": When conflict happens, the response has changed. While men are often wired to have a "scrap" and then get back to work as a team, female-oriented strategies tend toward purifying the social group. This often manifests as "cancel culture"—the permanent social exclusion of anyone deemed morally suspect.
👉🏽 It’s also worth noting that this isn't just a "men vs. women" issue. The research suggests that because men are often highly tuned into how to succeed within a hierarchy, many—especially younger men—are adopting these traditionally feminine values and social justice priorities to align with the new rules of the game. In modern institutions where status is now tied to these initiatives, adopting this mindset has become a new requirement for anyone looking to move up the ladder or simply stay included in the group.
How to Navigate the Shift
The goal here isn't to pick a side or pretend these differences don't exist. Both the "old school" and "new school" ways of doing things have their pros and cons. To get past the exhaustion, we have to look at this with a clear head:
⚖️ Face the Reality: The rules have changed. Moving forward starts with accepting that these shifts are real. When we stop fighting the fact that things are different, we can start figuring out how to handle them.
⚖️ Watch the Extremes: Just as we’ve always had to keep aggressive "macho" behavior in check, we now have to be careful about the extremes of the new system—like the rush to silence people or exclude them.
⚖️ Find What Works: We don’t have to throw everything away. The best path forward is to keep the parts of the old system that drive excellence and combine them with the parts of the new system that promote integrity and care.
💯 Clark suggests that the current friction is actually an opportunity to take the best parts of both "warrior" and "worrier" psychology to build a stronger, more balanced culture.
🔗 Here is the link to the article and you know where to find me if you want to check in. [Here is the link to book a session].
Dr. John Álvarez
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